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I have four children, three sons and a daughter. All three of my boys were high school wrestlers. I loved the sport and loved watching my boys wrestle. What does this have to do with bullying? This story is just the opposite. Here a young man named Clancy goes outside of himself, understands the needs of another human, and delivers a beautiful example of not only sportsmanship but also human kindness.

I can only assume that his parents have done a remarkable job of instilling compassion and empathy into their son. This is what all parents should be doing!

Watch the video and experience some good feelings!

Imagine going to work and every day enduring the taunts of your fellow workers. You walk by a colleague to go the restroom with insults loudly directed your way. You sit alone during lunch. If you are male, your manhood is attacked daily. You are referred to as the fag, bitch, queer, fruit, homo, dyke, lesbo, butch, and a variety I can’t print. Imagine it day after day after day, hour after hour after hour. How long could you stand this?

Too often this is what our gay students endure every single day of school. The slurs come during class; a student walks by the desk and whispers nastily, “Fag!” Then the bell rings, and the five minute walk to the next class is full of shoves, trips, and insults.

I am overweight and know how I feel when one person one time makes a crack about it. But to hear it over and over and over- I’m pretty sure I would refuse to go back to school. Or the wrong person would say the wrong thing at the wrong time, and I would probably explode resulting in a fight. I can imagine going home and crying in my room. The last thing I would want to do is study!

I can lose weight. I’m not here to debate homosexuality, but I believe we are born with our sexuality. My point- a gay person can’t change his/her sexuality; I can lose weight. I do have some control over my source of bullying. A gay student cannot!

Being bullied about something that is a part of who you are day in and day out can lead to what has become known as “Bullycide”. If who you are in your core is the cause, then being 15 and gay would probably seem like a long time of torture. Death would seem like the easiest way to end the suffering. I don’t like it, but I sure can understand it!

This is absolutely why gay bashing must be stopped. Beautiful young lives are being ended because of constant, daily torture. These young people do not believe that it will get better.

It is our responsibility as adults and parents to teach our children that bullying is wrong regardless of how we feel about the other person. Using the Bible to teach our children that one part of society is so evil and such an abomination is just plain wrong. Although the phrase has lost some of its power, honestly think, “What WOULD Jesus do?” What would Jesus say if He were standing there and seeing the behavior?

I’m simply weary of reading about young gay people committing suicide because of bullying. 

We need to get this movie out to all parents, teachers, youth directors, anyone who works with kids, and especially the kids!!!!!!

Too bad that because of its rating, schools won’t be able to show this. This movie looks like a MUST SEE!!!!!!

If you are interested in eliminating bullying or if a child you love has been bullied, you need to check out my site. I am continually searching for appropriate books and other resources to help families and educators understand bullying and how to get rid of it. Perhaps you know a family who has experienced bullying. Look here to purchase a source for them.

Maybe help a teacher identify bullying in his/her school- buy one of these books for that teacher for his/her library. Teachers aren’t trained in bullying in college. That really only happens when they become teachers and take in-service classes or workshops.

Being educated is the best defense against bullying.

Last week as I was working with the Anti-Bully Focus Group at my former school, a group of boys talked to me about different forms of initiation in the various organizations. Some of the stories were so disgusting, I won’t describe it here. Suffice it to say, humiliation was high. Surprisingly, when I told these boys that what they were describing was hazing and hazing is illegal, they were stunned. They had no idea it was wrong much less illegal.

We had a long discussion how this tied in with bullying. After a 30 minute discussion they understood; ANY time one person uses their position to humiliate another, that is bullying.

My guess is that many folks will cry out in anger, “How do the coaches and/or teachers allow this or not do anything about it?” This group of boys gave the perfect answer to this. “It’s not done in front of the coach/teacher! Do you think we’re idiots?” they exclaimed. They have look-outs to warn that the coach/teacher is approaching. “Mrs. Brengle, kids are sneaky. Where have you been all of these years?” They were right!

Kids don’t haze, initiate, or bully in the open. It’s done so they can’t be caught. It’s done in the restroom; teachers can’t be in the restrooms all day long. It’s done in the locker rooms; coaches can’t be in the lockerrooms all day long. Teens also don’t report hazing for the same reason they don’t report bullying- they don’t want things to get worse.

One of the boys told me that he knew that if he told the coaches about the initiation and then those boys got in trouble, he felt he could end up being hurt in a new round of hazing. The atitude is to suck it up, take it, and then it won’t be a problem. I asked him if when he is a senior, will he do the same thing to in-coming freshmen. It took some time of pondering, and he answered honestly, “I don’t know. I just assumed I would continue.” My hope is that we planted a seed that his senior year will be the beginning of the end of hazing/initiation.

One way to stop hazing is to remind teachers and coaches that it still exists. We have to, more importantly, convince kids that hazing is wrong.

Coaches, Teachers, and Parents- This book is a MUST READ!!!!! ORDER THIS BOOK NOW TO GET SOME ANSWERS AND GUIDANCE. HELP SAVE OUR STUDENTS!!!!!!!

My husband and I were both educators for 31 years and saw the results of bullying. My stance is that bullying will only stop when the bystanders and sidekicks stop it. A former student of mine has a daughter and posted her story on FaceBook. I asked her permission to print her story, and she said I could. This is an amazing story of an amazing young woman. This doesn’t happen by accident. Her parents have obviously instilled some fantastic ethics and morals giving this young girls the ability to empathize. I am so proud this mother has been in my life and that I was able to see this story. Here it is!!!!!!!

“Sooo proud of our daughter. This is what Molly told us tonight…..A girl at school is having a birthday party/bonfire this weekend. Well in true teenage fashion the birthday girl and one of her best friends had a falling out and so the used to be best friend planned a bonfire on the exact same night so that no one would go to the birthday party. And it looks as if it worked…all the kids are attending the “other” party because apparently that is where the boys and everyone want to be. Molly got the invite today from the other girl and Molly said “No I am not going to your bonfire. I was invited to “birthday girl’s” party first and that is where I am going. Then Molly called birthday girl and said “Don’t worry, I will be at your birthday no matter what.” I swear, that’s like something out of a Mean Girls movie. I have always loved the fact that Molly doesn’t feel the need to follow the crowd if it goes against her beliefs. I pray it stays with her through the rest of her teen years and beyond. I am so PROUD of her.”

Hopefully this makes your day as it did mine!! With young people out there like this, THERE IS HOPE!!!!!

Most of us know that the first thing children tease other children about is their weight. In fact, that was what happened to me. While we were at recess, Joe told me that he knew if he fell down he was going to land on me because I would be a big cushion for him. I was humiliated!

From that day forward, I was and am self-conscious about my weight. My mom put me on diets, restricting and monitoring everything I ate. This began at age 10 and today at 55, I am still dealing with my weight. 

There has to be a better way to help children. I think I found it. Your Child’s Weight: Helping Without Harming by Ellen Satter has a wonderful, family friendly way to help children with weight problems. In fact, it’s a program for the whole family. The program eliminates the need for parents to police their children’s food which removes the struggle which can lead to years of conflict and pain.

Helping our children have a good relationship with food helps them be healthier but also if it keeps them from being overweight, this removes one of them most common reasons for childhood bullying.

If your child has a weight problem and is being bullied or you are afraid they might be bullied, you MUST get this book. I think this approach can save you child from so many heartaches!! I wish my mom had had this, and I wish I had this with my own children, two of which struggle with their weight.

THIS BOOK WILL HELP YOUR ENTIRE FAMILY WITH WEIGHT PROBLEMS. GET IT TODAY!!!!!! THE LINK IS BELOW.

Most people think that bullying is a high school problem. That may be the age when it becomes its most vicious and dangerous in many cases, but bullying really starts at kindergarten or even pre-school.

Children learn at a very early age that name-calling is a quick way to get a reaction from another child. Silly names such as doo-doo head, dummy-head, and such aren’t hurtful because of what they mean. They are hurtful because the target knows the intention is that they want to hurt.

What our job then as parents and other educators is to teach our children compassion and empathy. I don’t know what psychologists say about a five-year-old’s ability to empathize with another child. I should research that, but I’m pretty sure they don’t really get how it feels. They know they want their way, and name calling is pretty powerful because young children don’t know how to hide their hurt feelings.

If we can’t teach empathy, or the ability to put ourselves in someone else’s shoes, we should be teaching compassion. Just teaching children that it’s not right to purposely make other people feel bad. We want to nurture in our children that they should want to make sure others feel good and happy.

Trust me, if they don’t know this by middle school or high school, they are not going to magically understand this. By this point, they only see the power they can wield over other people and control how they feel. Without compassion, they are almost giddy with power. They know they can make others feel bad, sad, depressed, anxious, fearful, and other emotions- and they like it!

If we teach them when they are young about compassion, children will carry it with them into adolescence and adulthood. Surely this is a goal of parents- for their children to be caring and compassionate people. Anyway, it doesn’t hurt to remind ourselves of this.

If you have questions, comments, advice, or your own story, please leave a comment. Bill and I want to hear from you. Let’s work to